Pfizer Listerine mouthwash - original "yellow" variety - extremely poor taste

Pfizer Listerine mouthwash - original "yellow" variety - extremely poor taste

Pfizer - Listerine - Mouthwash

Dear Madam or Sir: I've been using your Listerine (Cool Mint) mouthwash for many years now and have been very pleased with it; it leaves my breath minty clean and fresh so I don't have to worry about inadvertently melting a co-worker's, or my wife's face, off when speaking with them. On a lark while at Costco the other day, I picked up the original, "yellow" variety of your mouthwash thinking that my taste buds deserved a different flavor once in a while to keep them happy. Last night, with baited breath, I poured myself a small serving of the golden liquid; in it went and onto my eager, waiting taste buds. Instead of a delicious sensation my initial reaction was a violent "YUK!" and I spat it out. Good god--what _did_ you put in that stuff? Unbeknownst to you, did an errant elephant from a visiting circus relieve himself in one of the Listerine vats? Is it a derivative from the leftover, poisoned, grape Kool-Aid from the Jonestown incident years ago? ...Or a page lifted from Dr. Jack Kevorkian's euthanasia recipe book? I couldn't believe a mouthwash, let alone any "food", could be so revolting; even my own cooking isn't that vile, it having abruptly ended quite a few dinner dates when I was single. My wife, skeptical from my reaction, wanted to try the mouthwash but I cautioned her that battery acid would taste better. Not heeding my warning, she took a swig of it, spat it out, then ran screaming from the bathroom with the same, anguished face seen in Edvard Munch's painting, _The Scream_. I fear for you because her Cantonese cursing may have her Chinese ancestors seeking vengeance against Pfizer. If you like, I'll send you the nearly full remainder of the mouthwash to you for analysis, but I suggest you use weapons-grade lab equipment to analyze this toxic brew...or safely entomb it at the same site where nuclear waste is disposed of. Respectfully, Richard S

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