AT&T - I'd rather eat razor blades than deal with them

I purchased the AT&T bundle which included DSL, DISH Satellite and a phone line with the nationwide calling plan. Once the contract expired, I cancelled DSL and DISH. DSL was slow and cumbersome and DISH was overpriced. As instructed, I sent back the DISH receivers and the DSL modem.

A few months went by without incident, but then I got a phone bill with a mystery $400 charge on it. I called AT&T to find out why there was a charge. They finally tracked it down, saying that I hadn't returned the equipment. I insisted that I had, so the representative called DISH and confirmed that they had indeed received the equipment. The representative told me she would update my records and the charge would be removed by the next billing period.

The following billing period, I receive my bill, which still has the $400 charge as well as a threat to turn off my phone service due to non payment. Again, I call them, and explain the situation. The representative claims to find no notes, but again, they call DISH, confirm the equipment was received, tell me they are updating the notes, and that the charge will be removed.

Then, my phone gets turned off. I call from my cell phone, explain that I've paid the portion of my bill that isn't being disputed and go through the entire situation again. They tell me that they will turn my phone on the following day, once again call DISH to confirm the equipment was received, tell me they are updating the notes and that the charge will be removed.

Yup, you guessed it, the following billing period, the charge is STILL there. Once again, I call them, explain the situation, sit on hold while they call DISH and claim to be updating the notes. The rep tells me it's going to be taken care of.

Great. Then, my phone gets turned off, AGAIN! So, again, I go through the routine, spend MY time on the phone while they confirm yet again the equipment has been received, claim there are no notes, update the notes, and tell me they will restore service the following day.

And then....they turn off my phone AGAIN!. So, this time, sick and tired of spending MY time trying to correct THEIR mistake, I called them and told them to cancel my services and send me a final bill. The representative somehow managed to find notes about my previous calls, offered me free stuff to stay with them, and finally, begrudgingly cancelled my service. She told me to pay the final bill minus the $400 and everything would be taken care of.

I paid the outstanding amount as instructed and hoped for the best. But, the following month, I received a bill for an outstanding $400 with a lovely threat of sending me to collections. Once again, I called them, explained the situation, sat on hold while they claimed to find no notes, listened as they called DISH and confirmed that they have the equipment, and waited as they claimed to make notes resolving the situation.

Then, two weeks later, I received a collections notice. After 10 months, 18 phone calls, and umpteen hours of my wasted time, I've now been sent to collections for the $400 worth of equipment that they've confirmed 18 times is in THEIR possession.

The biggest issue is, I've done everything I could think of. I've been sweet, I've yelled, I've asked for supervisors, I've asked the reps to confirm exactly what's written in the notes, and there appears to be no way to resolve the situation short of sending them the $400 I don't owe them, for equipment I don't have. Every single time I call, it becomes clear to the reps that they have the equipment in question, and yet none of them ever apologize, or do anything to actually resolve the issue, so apparently there just IS no fixing a billing issue with AT&T.